Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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