do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
