About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
