I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
