We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You took a bar mat shot.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
