let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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