do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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