Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
