no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
