How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
