I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
