i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
