every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize