From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
