I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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