I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
