FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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