so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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