ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
