new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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