I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
