ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
