I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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