ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
