I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
