I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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