there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
