Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize