She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you would pick up someone in the library
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
