I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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