Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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