Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
