I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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