is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
