Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
