Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
