I wanna bring you to show and tell
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
