I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
