He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
