I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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