I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I could make wine with my vomit
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
