I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
