That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
