In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize