Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
