I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Randomize
