Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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