I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize