is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
