We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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