Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Michael Bay diarrhea
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize