I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
