Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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