Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
