Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize