She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
