Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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