i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
