Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
