Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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