I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
