Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
