i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
