I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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