She announced her abortion via fbk
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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