Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
im holly from the hills drunk
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
