His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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