Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
