Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The ass gains better be worth it
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